Expectations ... not great but humane and of course very little

Within a few months I am supposed to exchange vows. Standing at this crossroad of my personal life, the oft-repeated thought that crops in my mind is - what is it that I expect from my would be in-laws? Well expectations never diminish and they continue to change like a process. But speaking from my perspective and of course to be very precise, and keeping my expectaions to the bare minimum, I begin to scribble certain thoughts or views that may keep the complicated equation of a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law as fresh as a daisy and as lovely as a rose. So here I go:

• To keep any relationship alive and kicking and mutually fulfilling, it is very important to understand and remember, that every person has some degree of respect. And a lady who has left her home and parents back, to begin a new chapter in her life along with her in-laws, deserves the respect and love and warmth , so that she feels at home amongst a bunch of strangers that will be her family for a lifetime.
• The first step in restoring and maintaining cordial relations with the newly wed bride is to provide her the independence and position that she needs in order to feel that she is a part of the family.
• Personal attacks are a strict no-no. Any name - calling or blame game that is aimed at the bride's parents and family is totally unwelcome. If it is a must, it makes sense to keep the new lady in the family in the dark about it. Certain things are best left unknown!!! Any female facing such situations will outrightly begin disliking her in-laws . The motto is - Give respect and you will get respect.
• Negating each and every move of the bride is again a common mistake every mother-in-law or sister-in-law commits. It's important to understand that each individual is different and has an opinion if his/her own. Learning to accept differences in a mature way is a cardinal step to maintain any relation.
• Heated arguements should never border on personal attacks.
• Expecting too much change in too little time is a blunder. Each and every person is different and may take time to adapt and adjust.
• Comparisons are insulting for each and everybody. No two people are same and variety is a nice thing to have.
• A little bit of love, warmth and understanding goes a long way in creating a beautiful and long-lasting relationship.
• Lastly, trust is a must. Trust your near and dear ones. It never fails.
• Words often lead to unseen and deep wounds. A better idea is to mark the words and if possible not to speak at all as Silence is often a potent weapon than few uncomfortable words.