She is.....

A dazzling flame extinguished suddenly! A young life lost… dreams, hopes and aspirations dashed before they could taste maturity and fruition! Yet another defeat at the hands of time, or is it the deadly disease all of us loathe today?  

Late October, I experienced such an incident — an incident which I wish no one (not even my enemies) ever faces in their worst of nightmares! Coming back to her story… she is a lively, beautiful and boisterous young girl with large and lovely eyes. She loves to wear good clothes, dress and apply make-up and look glamorous. A girl who strikes you with her sharp speech and witty repartees at once.  
I met her in November 2010 and as I write about her today she is …no more. She is with God, free of all the pain and suffering she battled all through her illness. Yes it was a long drawn battle that lasted for a year and a half.

I had already known about her ailment when I first met her. Yet somehow I was unsure whether I should talk about it, or even mention that she will get well soon, fearing whether she knows what she is afflicted with. Whether her parents have disclosed that she has a duel with a deadly disease. As our bond grew stronger, she revealed her pain, her sufferings and agony that she bore during her treatment. To my utter surprise, I found her to be immensely strong at such an age. Nerves of steel she has or she is made of steel itself, I suppose.

Then came a fateful day, when a major portion of her limb had to be removed. It was extremely difficult for all of us, an acid test that we all passed eventually. We forced her into the operation theatre against her will, for the operation that was to be a life-saving one. After the operation, I could not brace myself to ask her – How are you?  I often wondered - ‘what would a girl with a limb removed answer?’ I could not meet her, or make eye-to-eye contact with her, lest she is hurt.

I took care not to wear capris or short skirts, lest she is reminded of her leg that was. I knew how fond she is of capris and shorts. Before her operation, I had carefully observed her, as she was painting the nails of her left leg and secretly wished that she walks properly again. Alas… she was painting her left toe nails for the last time indeed.

The doctors advised a prosthetic leg for her to be able to walk properly. She is glad now that she has the prosthetic leg. Noting a glimmer of hope and with renewed energy, she looks forward to her training sessions now, where the trainer teaches her how to walk with the prosthetic leg on. Once she could walk, she never let anyone help her to walk. She argued and urged to be left alone while walking and in no time, she learnt. Now she is convinced that she can dance again and set the stage on fire and win contests. By the way, she is a wonderful dancer and has already won many contests for her school. Dancing is her passion.

She celebrates each festival with great fervor. Christmas and Holi was celebrated with great fanfare, only because she loves to. Her birthday in March 2011 was a memorable one. We had dined and drank with great joy and wished her love, health, luck and joy and many more happy years. We did not know she would bid us goodbye, never to celebrate her birthday with us again.

I salute her endurance, grit and immense mental strength. Like a warrior, she fought hard, hoping to overcome her illness. I wish and pray that she meets us next time again, only if she has no painful life to endure. May the benevolent Lord grant peace to her departed soul and may she be joyful wherever she is.

I can still hear her chants, her chidings and screams, her effervescence and her witty comments. What I cannot see is her beautiful face. Still am glad, am glad for her, now that she is completely free of pain, agony and despair.

Yours truly,

Bhabhi..  (no one calls me like that any more, since you are not here). Will you not scream saying the same? Only Time will tell.

Durga Pujo 2010 - A walk down memory lane..

Since the mid -week of September 2011, the Pujo fever had completely affected me. Amidst my daily chores, I continued to think about the kurtas to buy, sarees and blouses to wear, the accessories to buy and lastly, the gifts to expect from parents et al. The Pujo topic emerged even during my chats with my friends, post-lunch either on FB or Gtalk. My mom and mother-in-law also discussed about pujo, with great enthusiasm, every time I talked to them over the phone. Such was (still is..) the fervour of pujo and it became manifold, when my husband expressed his desire to visit his hometown and mine, as well during Durga Puja. I only excliamed to myself .. "what fun..!!"

However, as October set in, I saw some of my friends living abroad, lamenting their inability to be in Kolkata during pujo this time. Their sobs (not literally) and their wonderful notes on FB on Pujo and it's significance for Bengalis all over the world,  reminded me of my predicament exactly a year back. The notes of my friends Aishani, Debolina and her buddy Poulomi inspired me to write this blog. Before going further, let me warn you that this blog is intendeed to express my feelings and condition during the 1st pujo that I had spent out of Kolkata, after my wedding. Let's begin!

I got married in 2010 and began a new phase with my husband in Pune. We had decided then, that we will definitely go to Jamshedpur and Kolkata during Pujo in 2010. Accordingly, we bought tickets and planned our vacations in advance, informing beforehand, at our respective workplaces. My in laws were visiting and on my husband's birthday, came the good tiding that he has been promoted and will be shifted to new team. This was around September and Pujo was in October I guess! There was a massive re-think and the outcome was, I will Go, come what may! But my parents told us that we had to go together, as it was our first pujo as life partners. So the verdict was - either WE go or we DON'T. Eventually, we could not go. Now what to do and how to enjoy the festival, was the next question that was tormenting us.

I told myself, that even if I am not in Kolkata or the eastern part of the country, I will still celebrate PUJO, my way. If the festive ambience is lacking, let's create it. So with renewed energy, I began shopping for clothes, accessories and shoes. And at the end of it, it was more than satisfying, I must say.

On Ashtami, me and my in laws went to offer Pushpanjali, clad in new sarees and ornaments. In the evening, we hired a car and visited whatever pandals Pune manages to have. Then we wound it up by a nice dinner. What more can you ask for? Here we were in our best dresses, looking like absolute divas (we did receive such compliements, mind you) and enjoying Pujo as we used to in Kolkata or JSR.. Shoshthi evening was spent with my friend, Subarna, her husband Sudip Da and Aniket, munching on rolls, that were ghosts of the yummy rolls of Kolkata. Nevertheless it gave us a feel of the Kolkata pujo again. Saptami evening was a completely different affair altogether. We had been to Koregaon Park Durga Pujo pandal, where 2 singers from Mumbai stole the show, by singing hit songs of Kishore Kumar. The audience was mesmerised, and everyone were on their toes, dancing wildly. Nabami night was a delightful affair at Koyla, as we enjoyed the delicious mughlai food. On Dashami, me and my mom-in-law and my friend, Subarna, went for the Sindur Khela. One fact that I forgot to mention - we had Ma Durga right in our locality last year, so it added to the charm all the more.

To conclude, though the Pune Pujo completely lacks the fervour and frenzy of Pujo in Kolkata, however, me and my family managed to enjoy it in our own sweet ways, much like the ususal way. The only difference might have been in the scale, as pujo in Kolkata and the eastern parts of the country is on a much much grander scale.

                            Friends, have a Happy Pujo with your families and do not forget to deck your homes, yourselves, appease your taste buds and fill your tummies with the yummiest food during Ma Durga's homecoming. Cook up a storm if you can for your life partners and enjoy the festival in your own little ways. After all, the feeling is most important and that's what matters the most. May the Goddess bless you all. Signing off for now.. will be back soon with memories of this year's Puja and photos of course!